They’re just not that into you


Jaime Carrillo and Jaime Carrillo

I feel pretty bad for Gov. Mitt Romney. He’s surrounded by a party who just isn’t that into him. Every endorsement, from congressman Paul Ryan (who you could easily mistake as a more feminine Ayn Rand) to Gov. Marco Rubio has been given with gnashed teeth and clenched fists. I want to tell Romney what I’ve told a few close lady friends stuck in awful relationships before: You can do better, baby.

Romney’s spot as the nominee probably won’t be decided until the Republican National Convention. Since the beginning of the race, it has been an uphill struggle for the only rational human being (save for congressman Ron Paul of Texas, but, well, you know) on the debate stage. He’s still fighting off two men who aren’t just bad politicians, they’re awful human beings. I say that with zero trepidation.

Speaker Newt Gingrich is a racist. He called Barack Obama the “food stamp president,” and Spanish “the language of the ghetto.”

Rick Santorum has compared homosexuality to bestiality. He’s so dogmatic with his backwards religious views that I’m surprised he doesn’t want to ban dancing. And yet, the base of his party takes both of these second-rate super villains just as serious as Romney, perhaps more because there’s still some prejudice in the party (and America) for Mormons. Still, he takes it in stride, and should be commended for it.

Romney, for all his faults, is a pragmatic guy in the same way Obama is a pragmatic guy. They disagree on a few things, but you’d be hard pressed to deny the fact that both men are smart and reasonable men. And yet he runs from a lot of his record as governor.

When running for governor of Massachusetts in 2004, he pledged to be “more pro-choice than Ted Kennedy.” He claims that he’s changed his position since then, and is adamantly anti-abortion. I think this is a farce. I’m also willing to bet he isn’t bothered by gay marriage. He lived with it in Massachusetts and realizes it doesn’t post a threat to society. And let’s not forget: Obamacare took many of its ideas from Romneycare, a program that is very popular among people in Massachusetts.

But for some reason, he runs from his record as a rational politician because he knows he can’t win unless he does. This sort of behavior is heartbreaking: in relationships and politics, and I Oughta Know.


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