Death of the party

Houston voted for Obama in 2012. That’s right, the one in Texas. The bastion of right wing conservatism. And despite the Republicans keeping their majority in the House of Representatives, Democrats got more votes in house races. I won’t go into the evils of gerrymandering right now, but the point stands: the Grand Old Party is dying. But I really don’t want it to die. We need at least two parties for this whole democracy thing to work. Here are a few tips for how the Republican Party can retain its core values while shedding a good chunk of the garbage ones.

Embrace the Gays: 3.5 percent of Americans are openly gay, and this doesn’t account for closeted gays (who may be Republican congressmen, a la Larry Craig). You can no longer win elections by relying on the electoral votes of the old Confederacy. Stop demonizing them, embrace gay marriage (which is happening whether you like it or not) and start some outreach.

Make pariahs of anyone with a nuanced position on rape: No, you don’t have to become pro-choice. But you shouldn’t try to demonize victims of violent crimes, like GOP candidate Richard Mourdock did when he said that babies conceived from rape is “something that God intended to happen.” That is not only insulting to victims, but it’s insulting to God. Clean house of those people if you don’t want to scare away the voters with more than a fourth grade education.

Compromise, Compromise, Compromise: I’ve forever pointed out that America doesn’t have a leftist party. The Democrats in any other country would be considered a moderate party in some countries and outright right in others. Taxes for instance, aren’t the worst thing ever, especially when we’re only asking three percent more from the ultra-rich. If you don’t want people calling you plutocrats, then don’t behave like them.

Will these changes mean that there’s a good chance I could vote for a Republican in the future? Hardly. But I would rather have a party that I disagree with and respect than a party I outright abhor. The yin will always need the yang, and I Oughta Know.

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