Thanks for the memories

Political campaigns are all about personality. Whether it’s President Barack Obama doing his very best to bring back the fervor from ’08 or Gov. Mitt Romney trying to convince voters he’s not cold and unfeeling, the election has been anything if not a “people business.” But I happen to think ideas and words are far more interesting than people. Here are a few of my favorites.

“We built that.” – An Obama stump speech about the history of government spurring economic growth turned on it’s side and taken out of context by the propaganda arm of the Republican party known as Fox News. Fun fact: the Republican National Convention was subsidized partly by federal funds, so I guess we did build that. And by “we,” I mean the American taxpayer.

“Corporations are people, my friend.” – The kind of quote you have to dig to find, like your favorite B-side. This happened back during the Republican primaries, when Romney was still fighting for the spotlight amongst people even more backwards than him. I think it’s interesting that corporations are people, but only when it comes to the insane amount of cash they can pour into the political system. If corporations were people, we could have tried and convicted Exxon Mobil and Goldman Sachs to a maximum-security prison in a tiny cell with a “touchy” bunkmate named “Shank Hank.”

“Legitimate Rape” – I suppose favorite isn’t the right word for this one. I do find it pretty egregious that people who so callously call themselves Pro-Life (except in the case of drone strikes and universal healthcare) will also try to re-define rape in order to make abortions harder to get for rape victims. The day men like congressman Todd Akin are able to get pregnant is the day abortion becomes a bi-partisan idea. That, and birth control would become a condiment in between the salt and pepper.

“You’re absolutely crazy.” – yelled Clint Eastwood to an empty chair. Easily my Sophie’s Choice of one of the most tumultuous campaigns ever. An old white guy yelling at a figment of his imagination: the perfect amalgamation of the conservative movement, and I Oughta Know.

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