It seems like just yesterday, Republicans were carefully picking a candidate through a handful of sociopaths before settling with the guy with the best hair. Congrats for rising to the top, Gov. Mitt Romney, you did it! Congresswoman Michele Bachman couldn’t win because she’s what scientists would describe as “completely bananas.” Speaker Newt Gingrich probably pulled out because the Justice League found his lair and secret stash of weapons grade plutonium. And Herman Cain… I’ll miss you most of all, Herman Cain. But there’s no time to be wistful, the 2012 presidential campaign is coming down to the wire.

Well, “down to the wire” is perhaps not the right word here. I’m not suggesting everyone break out their polished mahogany to knock their fists against. I’m fairly positive President Barack Obama will remain president for one more term. Unless he gets a late in the game political bomb dropped in his lap, known to politico’s as an “October Surprise.”

I simply don’t know what it could be, though. Can you? Obama has taken off the gloves, given up that whole “let’s come together and compromise” schlock and it’s paying off in key states like Ohio, where Obama is up by 2.4 points according to Real Clear Politics polling data. On his recent stop to The Daily Show on Oct. 18, he even hammered how crucial it is for people to vote in as many Democrats as possible into congressional seats, because he doesn’t want to deal with the same obstruction that he’s dealt with since he took the oath of office.

National security is always a huge issue, especially in post 9/11 America. Heck, the Osama bin Laden tape released the weekend before the election gave President George W. Bush the edge he needed to win against Senator John Kerry, who was effectively painted as some sort of pansy despite winning three Purple Hearts. That picture of him windsailing didn’t help either. But can Romney use similar tactics on the man that gave the order to annihilate bin Laden? I would love to see him try.

But more than anything, Romney’s Waterloo is Romney. Not just the political figure but the man himself, and the campaign that bears his name. Republicans are not compassionate, as much as they like to think they are. And that’s just fine! At the end of the day, you can only be you. October surprises don’t usually come in late summer. When you discount almost half the country (47 percent, to be exact), don’t be so disappointed when they decide to not vote for you, and I Oughta Know.