Asexuality is a widely misunderstood sexual orientation that is not often discussed or acknowledged. During American River College’s Sex Health Awareness week, ARC alumn David de Mola, a psychology major, poet and open asexual gave a speech on what it’s like to be asexual.
De Mola broached the topic by discussing past experiences in his life, as well as giving his own personal take on the subject.
De Mola recounted his days in high school where he grappled with his sexual identity in a place where asexuality was not understood, and therefore made it difficult for him to find his sexual identity until later in life.
“Whenever the topic of sex would come up, other kids would treat me like I’m lying or I’m some weirdo,” said de Mola.
“I’m just me. All I know is my natural function. And my personal, natural function is asexual.”
He then went on to discuss his past romantic experiences, telling the students in attendance that just because he is asexual does not mean that he is incapable of having a romantic relationship.
On the contrary, de Mola has a girlfriend and states that he is very happy. The only difference from his relationship to that of others is that his is not predominantly sexual, but is instead a more emotionally developed relationship.
Though being asexual doesn’t affect de Mola’s day-to-day life, it sometimes causes difficulty when it comes to dating and spending time with women, as de Mola said that women nowadays tend not to fully believe him when he states that he has no interest in sexual activity.
“How do I ask someone for coffee without ‘asking’ for coffee?” de Mola said.
According to de Mola, asexuality has still yet to be clearly defined, which would explain why many people do not understand it.
De Mola said that not many people take the time to research asexuality and so they are not fully educated on what it means and become misinformed.
According to de Mola, a recent estimate placed the world’s asexual population at 1 percent.
“Yes, 1 percent isn’t a big piece of the pie. But, if I can be so bold as to apply it to a global scale, it’s, what, almost 70 million people?” said de Mola.
“When I put it like that, it makes me feel a lot less crazy for not caring about sex.”
Below, watch a video of de Mola’s poetry. WARNING: Explicit language