The welcomed chaos of dating

Dating has been awkward, frustrating, and lonely at times, but it has also been fun, exciting, and new. I live for those moments of chaos, frantically searching through my room for my lost high heel shoe, while my date waits downstairs, or staying up late texting when I know I have class early in the morning. It’s all a part of the game and I’m just getting started.

I have gained so much from allowing myself to be open to dating and all of its wonders. Through all of my heartbreaks and all of my mother’s “I told you so’s,” I have grown as a person. I have learned to make better decisions based on my past experiences and have learned the hard way far too many times.

I have realized that, even though I may not know exactly what I want in a guy, I know what I don’t want, like a guy who can’t hold down a job or a guy who doesn’t read (there’s plenty of those). Dating has opened my eyes to all the different types of losers out there, but sometimes you stumble upon a gentlemen and it makes it all worth it.

Yes, dating has made me bitter at times and I’m convinced that the gods have cursed my dating life. But I’m young, I’m learning, and I’m doing it all with a smile. Each one of my failed romances has taught me more about myself than any horoscope or Cosmo article ever could. Because I’m living it, experiencing all the “call me maybe’s” and goodbye kisses a heart can take.

Most importantly, I have learned to be patient, to stand up for myself, and that letting your guard down and being vulnerable is okay, as long as you have your mom and your friends to help you pick up the pieces. No regrets, just lessons learned, because at one point in time, it’s what I wanted for myself.

Even though I have been hurt and have repeatedly sworn to never date again or until Ryan Gosling finally responds to my emails, I keep on dating. I remain hopeful and it’s because I still believe in love, I still believe in myself and I won’t allow myself to settle. The older and wiser I get, the closer I am to finding my Mr. Right.