U-G-L-Y! Do Sactown’s men have an alibi?

Sarah Vorn and Sarah Vorn

Sacramento men are aesthetically challenged.

At least, that’s the verdict according to a new vanity survey conducted by the website Living Social. Only 23 percent of 4,000 people polled thought Sacramento men to be handsome, ranking the city last in the nation of 20 cities polled.
So is this a contributing factor as to why I haven’t dated a Sacramentan in my two years of living here? Is the picking pool so full of unattractive options that my interests have failed to be incited? And are the chances of running into handsome men in this region really as far-fetched as my marrying Channing Tatum someday?

I mentally scrolled the database of “hot” men I’ve encountered since my move up here.

There was Mr. Suave with his smooth moves and never-ending shower of compliments. No, wait–he was from the bay area and only visiting friends here. What about Mr. Consultant I met while waiting in line for tamales downtown at the farmer’s market? He was tall, easy on the eyes, had perfect teeth, and oh yes, was traveling and not from around here. OK, there was Mr. Pre-Med I met while out one night. With his charming smile and eyes that crinkled up in the corners when he laughed, he was definitely very attractive. Wait–he was from Davis. Close enough though, right?


Well, there was Mr. Blue Eyes I jokingly accused of stalking me after we kept running into each other in the aisles of the supermarket. He was from Sacramento, but more importantly, not someone I’d describe as “ugly.” There was the Ryan Gosling doppelganger I crossed paths with right here at American River College. In dark skinny jeans, a casual knit sweater, and aviator sunglasses that only added to his cool, golden-boy flair. I couldn’t deny he was good looking. And judging from his confident stroll and the smirk that adorned his handsome face, I’m sure his consultation with the mirror that morning corroborated my assessment.

So while Sacramento isn’t exactly an open casting call for new male models, there are attractive men who call it home.

In addition to citing Sacramento men as the nation’s least handsome, the poll also listed Sacramento as one of America’s least vain cities with less reports of plastic surgery than other major cities.
I don’t know about you, but I find that reassuring. I should be the center of his attention, not his reflection. And as far as plastic surgery goes, being flawed and real trumps artificial perfection any day.